(Quick note to let you know that I’m giving away an e-book copy of my new novel Be All My Futures Remembered to a subscriber of my fan list on February 2nd 2025. There are some fun rules to enter and entries close on January 31st 2025. If you’d like to know more, sign up to my fan list and I’ll send through the details.)
As I mentioned in last week’s post, I’m in the process of collecting reviews for my new novel Be All My Futures Remembered. (If you’re interested in leaving a review, contact me for a copy.)
I really appreciate people taking the time to read my books. I also really appreciate those who leave their honest reviews about their reading experience.
Having said that, I will be honest and say that the experience of receiving a review seems to be universal. The lovely stuff washes right over us but even the slightest negative sticks like superglue in the noggin.
Why is that?
As you guessed, we’ll need to invite my Creativity to give her take on the matter.
So let me explain your brain to you.
Imagine it like a big wall and you’re able to throw review spaghetti at it. (Why spaghetti? Because that’s what I’ve heard people throw at walls to see what sticks. Am I wrong about that? You can throw those little bow tie pasta things if you prefer. But there must be pasta sauce involved. I believe that’s mandatory.)
So there’s this wall. It’s an amazing wall. When something positive is thrown at the wall, it becomes non-stick and everything slides off it. When something negative is thrown at the wall, it becomes flypaper and nothing escapes.
Why? I dunno. I’ve never asked the mysterious wall. But from what I know of other people, it seems Jessica’s wall is not unique.
So this means as the spaghetti (or bow tie pasta) throwing process progresses, you end up with lots of positive stuff lost to the self-cleaning floor (which is totally a thing. You’re jealous, aren’t you? You should see our mould-less shower!). And you end up with a lot of negative stuff stuck where you just can’t ignore it.
So what do you do?
The counter-attack should be two pronged. (You didn’t realise it was an attack? Wait until you experience it. The negativity attack is real!)
First prong, recognise that the negative is usually entirely a matter of taste. See last week’s post about mangoes and you’ll get what I’m saying.
I say usually because I’m assuming there may be times when the negative includes feedback which could be used to improve your skills, but I encourage caution with attempting to learn from negative feedback because, as mentioned, so much of negative feedback is subjective. (I’m told “subjective” means “something that can be safely ignored because only a few people think it.” It’s got nothing to do with “subjects” and “hives” which I think would make it a much more interesting word. Wouldn’t you want to know more about a review that sparks a swarm of typo bees that could invade other people’s consciousnesses? Actually, that’s a better mental picture than the spaghetti wall!)
So, my point being, negativity needs to be ignored. The flypaper needs to be wallpapered.
But what do you wallpaper with?
Here’s your second prong of the counter-attack: you go looking for the positive and plaster it everywhere you can. You need to be actively hiding the negative with well-chosen positivity.
Why do I say well-chosen? Well, would you believe that you need to be a bit selective about your positives because they can also impact your confidence and creative freedom?
Sometimes, knowing that someone believes that you create things which are fantastic, fascinating, and some other word that begins with f but isn’t coming to me currently, builds pressure the next time you go to create. You might sit down, go to write/paint/compose something and suddenly be paralysed with the idea that you need to create something that meets all four fs (I can only think of two, but I’m sure there must be four somewhere). What if this time what you create isn’t fantastic? What if it is not fascinating? What if it’s not floofy, or fulfilling, or futuristic, or fabulous? What do you do? Lie down and eat a banana and persimmon muffin and end up just as paralysed as if you’d just read that your characters were flatter than cardboard.
So choose things that inspire you, that encourage you, and let you know that you are appreciated. Jettison anything that in any way makes you feel nervous or overwhelmed or causes a banana and persimmon muffin binge (I give you permission to binge beetroot and chocolate muffins though, those things need more publicity). When you have your inspiring comments, literally plaster them on your literal wall (unless you’re renting, in which case do not do anything that will get you and me into trouble) so you can see them every day.
When you get a negativity attack, look at the positives you’ve collected, and always be on the look out for things you can add to your positivity collection.
You and your Creativity are under attack from the negative. So ignore the “paper bullets of the brain” (as Shakespeare knowledgeably wrote) and start printing your own ammunition.
So for me personally, I love the reviews that say my book is “compelling,” “fascinating” (a word beginning with f that isn’t playing with my head, at the mo), kept the reader turning the pages, and kept a reader up until 1 a.m. Those are things that give me a feeling of success and the desire to create something new.
Of course, negative thoughts and feedback will always happen. It’s about not pinning one’s self-worth and creative worth on the feelings and words of others. You have the right to create even when it’s not to the tastes of others because there will always be others who won’t like or appreciate what you create. You don’t have to live for them. Live for yourself. Enjoy yourself. Create for yourself and then let your creations find an audience that will understand them—even if that takes a long time.
What about you? What negative thought/feedback is making things harder for you? What inspires you to create more?