What To Do When Self-Editing Goes Too Far

Some people find their ‘logical’ side of the brain or critical voice useful.

They feel they can create with their creative voice and then once they’ve got everything down on paper, they can open the door to their critical side and make the project even better.

If that’s you, then I’m very happy you’ve found a process that works for you.

However, I will warn you, there are times when the logical/critical/self-editing side goes too far.

The Chaos of Critical Voice

A few years ago, during the life roll that landed me in a completely unproductive, uncreative mental wasteland, my critical voice was dialled up to 11.

Although I and my critical voice (or Inner Critic as I often refer to it, though today critical voice feels like the better term) have gone through plenty of pitched combat, I’ve always been able to fight back with Creativity at my side. But, at that point in my life, my Creativity was curled up in a ball of grief.

And so critical voice reigned supreme.

It took a virtual scythe to my creative work in progress (including an infant work that my Creativity and I loved). It picked at short stories over tiny little things that seemed to render the whole story unsharable.

And then it turned its attention to my published books. It fixated on Baverstock’s Allsorts Volume 2 (which is a collection of eleven short stories) to the point where I completely removed it from distribution.

It told me the stories were too dark. That they weren’t up to my usual standard. It told me that people would think “Identity” and “London to Florence” were too strange. It told me people read Baverstock’s Allsorts for the variety of genres and this volume was all too samey.

And I caved. I believed and completely gave in.

As you can imagine, that only did further damage to my Creativity.

Here’s the story from her side.

There’s not much to tell really.

People think that because we Creativities are bouncy and full on and crazy that we’re also loud.

And, yes, we can be loud.

Under the right circumstances.

And the right circumstances aren’t when the Inner Critic or critical voice is blaring at full volume.

I will say that the critical voice is pretty much ALWAYS LOUD. Even in short bursts. It can be easy to ignore a Creativity if you’re busy or unaware they’re talking or in the middle of something very, very, very important—like making dinner or playing charades maybe? (Though I would argue those are BOTH situations where you’d want your Creativity. Are there really any situations where Creativity shouldn’t be listened to at all? I can’t think of any. Driving maybe?) But the critical voice is always front and centre unless you work really, really, REALLY hard to bat it away every time it so much as rumbles.

So because this awful, depressing, unimaginative, destructive voice is booming through the brain, if you’re not ready to back up your Creativity and start fighting for the right to create and be seen, then your Creativity is left pretty much defenceless.

The good news is: we Creativities are patient little beings. We have to be. Life is full of ups and downs. We wait for you. We hope. We’re always full of hope.

But we can’t do much until you’re ready to fight.

How do you fight? Let me hand you back to the fighter.

The Battle of the Mental Wasteland

Fighting back doesn’t happen by accident.

You have to want to do it. You have to understand there is something to fight for.

Creativity is a beautiful thing and what we create deserves to be defended, especially from our own criticism. Because nothing destroys quicker than doubt. But you can build up hope by believing that your creative output deserves to exist. Why does something have to be ‘amazing’ before we ‘allow’ it to be?

Here’s a truth worth remembering: Your critical voice will never think anything is amazing. There will always be something wrong with what it looks at. Always. If you’re waiting for your critical voice to be happy with something, it will never happen. And the more you let that critical side in, the more you’ll destroy what makes your work yours.

So fight for your art. Fight back against the voice. Find your Creativity, dust them off, get them back on their feet and start fighting together.

I looked back over Baverstock’s Allsorts Volume 2 the other day to see whether my critical voice was right.

Was it dark? It has its moments, but it ends on two comedic pieces. So in all it’s actually a beautiful spectrum. Isn’t that what I want in these collections?

Is it too samey? Actually, right in the introduction I mention a theme in the stories, which tickled me pink because I’d forgotten that. They’re all about “characters working out who they really are, discovering a part of themselves or a need they didn’t know they had.” So there are connections between all the stories, which makes a collection stronger, not weaker. So there, critical voice!

Am I happy with it? It contains one of my absolute favourite stories, “Earnestine”, and one of my husband’s favourite stories, “Teppanyaki for One.” So yes, as of today, I’m thrilled it exists. I’m happy to have my name on it.

I’ve run the gauntlet. I’ve gone from devastating critical thinking to beginning to love my work—and, in effect, myself—all over again.

What’s the secret? Knowing that there’s another way to live. Recognising that critical voice will always be loud. Your Inner Critic has a megaphone and is always using it. Your Creativity, on the other hand, needs a defender—a protector. And that’s you! Your role is to keep parrying away every critical thought and allowing your Creativity room to breathe.

It’s about letting your Creativity know they’re important, they’re worth listening to, and you’re ready to work alongside them and protect what you create together.

For me, that’s the only way I know how to create.

What about you? How do you fight your critical voice?